As a current 18's club coach and former college assistant, former club director (kudos to all that are current directors...there's a reason it says "former"), and a parent above all else, I'll provide my $0.02. As a coach, I choose not to drink in the direct presence of my players...direct presence meaning dining with them. If I am at a restaurant table with the parents, and my players are off in the corner eating by themselves, and the parents are ordering drinks themselves, I do not feel uncomfortable ordering a glass of wine; but if the parents are off by themselves, and I'm eating with my players, I pass. If the parents are nowhere to be found (i.e. a high school party where alcohol is present), then I don't have any business being there in the first place. My current club does not have a rule one way or the other (at least not that I've ever been told about); that being said, I feel like it would be irresponsible of me to conduct myself otherwise around a group of young adults. In college, we enacted the "Red-Yellow-Green Light" system, which is a story for a different day, but those players were often of age anyways..

As a director, I would have wanted to be informed if any of my coaches were in the situation described...but only on good authority, and good authority does not constitute "she heard, from this boyfriend of that player, that _____ was there". Good authority is subjective, and, as a person in your position, you need to use your own judgement as to how confident your source is. If the call to the director is warranted, which it sounds as if it is, I would meet with said coaches to discuss the situation. Their side of the story deserves explanation...perhaps they were invited to a graduation party, not knowing that it was only students and that alcohol was present, they left upon arrival, and the "playing drinking games" part was completely unfounded. Or the worst could be true, that they were invited, provided the alcohol, and showed the students the proper way to bounce a quarter into a shot glass. The prior is excusable...the latter should probably call for immediate dismissal from the club and possible report to the region by the director (depending on how active your region is in enacting sanctions...some I've coached in would want to know, others could care less...in the region in which I was director, the court of public opinion following the dismissal would have been plenty, and the region couldn't have been bothered). Or perhaps somewhere in between was the actual occurrence, in which case the director will earn his dues in how it is handled, both with the coaches and the players...I do not envy that director. As directors we are often asked to play the roles of administrator, confidant, adjudicator, and friend. The balance is not easy, and the decisions made could well affect those players and coaches long-term.

As a parent (although my kids are still young), I would want to know about the presence of my child at the party. How I handled it from there would depend on her involvement, her actions, her honesty, etc. I am not in favor of legislating morality, but rather of educating such that my children make good, informed decisions about what they choose to do. Parents, and the manner in which they raise their children and instill values in them, can vary greatly, and it is not my place to judge what someone else deems appropriate or not. If you have, on good authority, that another parent's child was there, then informing them is not wrong...but let them decide what they do with it. While the actions in today's society may be sad in some people's eyes, they are true...you can deal with your daughter, let others deal with theirs, and let the director handle the players (it what they get paid the big bucks for after all [said with tongue firmly implanted in cheek]).

So there's my diatribe, which turned out to be longer than expected. It was said before, as I reiterated here, that you need to be comfortable that what you understand to have happened, actually happened. If not, your actions could cause considerably more harm than doing nothing at all. And be prepared for the fact that consequences and fallout, although justified, may be much, much worse than you could have anticipated.