I've learned a lot about volleyball from reading this board but in my opinion this has to be the most helpful compilation of insight, experience and advice
for parents of volleyball players I have ever read. It confirmed and given great direction on many of the concerns I have as a parent of a 14 year old player
and will be quite helpful over the next few years. Thanks to all the posters and please don't stop sharing addittional thoughts!
PrepVolleyball.com
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SHARE YOUR VOLLEYBALL WISDOM
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 Vintense |
The Best Post Ever | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 26 (06/15/08 12:33 AM) |
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flyonthewall |
watching practices | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 368 (06/15/08 7:25 AM) |
I get what Rip Thread is saying....some parents watching practices is NOT a good idea. But I also understand vb15's thinking. In the past I have been known to watch some practices (not the whole thing). It is helpful to see how things go during practice....but I can see where it can be taken too far and there will be some parents who analyze the practice and put more pressure on their child. For newbie parents, sometimes watching practices gives them some education on how this whole club volleyball thing works. A friend of mine didn't understand the nuances of the game and his daughter was too impatient to explain it to him. The dad didn't want to bother the coach at tourneys to ask questions because he figured the coach had better things to do then explain the little stuff to the dad. Other parents were helpful, but he didn't really get what the coach was trying to accomplish until he went to a practice. He listened and watched and learned....kept going to practices and now coaches in the middle school league. |
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Phaedrus |
Practices | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 2041 (06/15/08 8:12 AM) |
One thing that happened serendipitously was that we were supposed to scrimmage one of the other teams in our club, the other team didn't show up and the
dad's who were there to watch scrimmage decided to get in there to play against the girls, 14 and unders.
I don't think these guys had any ideas as to what they were doing because the girls kicked their butts. I got a lot of comments and questions from the parents about specific techniques, how we trained for specific skills, and game strategy etc. These dads never thought the game was all that tough, until their little girls thumped their butts. From that point on, the girls and the coaches had credibility. We didn't gain anything by that practice but it was time well spent. I have not done it lately but that reminds me to try that again next time I have a team. Plus the players get a great boost when they get to show off their knowledge to their parents. I don't usually care when parents stay at practice, but I do care when they get in the way. I have had dads making noises at their daughters to get their attentions in order to give them the wisdom of their coaching acumen. Having a gym devoid of parents would be wonderful, but I don't usually kick people out unless they get out of hand. |
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olddblueeyes |
Hmm... | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 84 (06/15/08 8:39 AM) |
...there are tons of great books, videos and time to be spent with knowledgable coaches/people of a parents intent is to truely learn the sport. Many of us
are volleyball "junkies" that love to talk about the game and strategies at any opportunity...believe me, no JR coach is out there for the money.
Along with the unneeded pressure of having your parents there watching you...a parent being at a practice is like meeting your date before she puts on her make-up. Tournament time, the time when your date comes down the staircase, is when the team is ready to be seen. In my case, after a long and pretty solid career as a player, coach, director...I never set foot in anohter coaches practice sessions with my daughter out of respect....now that consideration ends at tournament time when I love to second-guess.. 
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vb15fan |
Watching Practice | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 65 (06/16/08 9:46 AM) |
Thank you Fly on the Wall, you get what I was saying. I didn't say watch "every" practice. And the practices I do attend I am also reading, taking a walk to get a cup of tea, etc... I still believe it is helpful and I am also one of those parents who loves to learn about the sport.
RIP, while I do not sit in on my childs classes at school, I do keep track of their progress through homework and report cards. I don't recall every
getting a written progress report from volleyball coach, or seeing the homework she brought home so that I could see why she was getting the grade she
earned. I don't see how the two can be compared...
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RIP THREAD |
Hmm... | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 66 (06/16/08 10:55 AM) |
vb15fan wrote: ....in any athletic competition, the "report card" is the event. You are indeed getting feedback on your player's progress when you're
in the stands at your a tournament. You do not sit in your child's classroom at school nor should you sit in you player's other classroom sesson
(a.k.a. Practice). Here's an easier analogy?
Last Edited By: RIP THREAD
06/16/08 11:02 AM.
Edited 1 times.
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VBCoach22 |
My 1/2 cent contribution.... | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 74 (06/16/08 12:14 PM) |
Coaches:
- Do you have 10 years experience or 1 year of experience 10x over? There's a big difference! - If you are truly in it for your players...join USAV, AVCA, PrepVolleyball, participate in Region Meetings/Boards, etc. Take advantage of all the free/low-cost info that's out there to help make you a better coach! - Encourage community service/volunteer work for your team - we helped at the Special Olympics Volleyball Tournament recently and I never saw smiles so big - and that was just on our players' faces :-) - In fairness, you can only demand a level of effort equivalent to what you give to your team. A poorly planned practice produces poorly practiced players! Parents: - Similar to a previous post....the little bit of homework you do on the potential club upfront will eliminate the large amount of time you may spend on potential problems once the season starts. - If you don't understand what a coach is doing as far as a certain strategy (playing time aside)....ask them (preferably after a win...we'll be in a better mood!). - I recognize that you are an advocate for your daughter, and respect that. Just respect the fact that I am balancing the wishs/wants of 9 to 11 other advocates as well! Officials: - Don't make me pay for a previous coach's actions.... - Bees, dogs, and volleyball coaches smell fear....right or wrong, call it confidently...leaves us nowhere to go. PrepVolleyball Message Board: - In the immortal words of Joe Dirt..."Keep on keepin' on..." I can't even begin to thank everyone for all the great information I have gotten from this site!! |
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pooch.noshortcutsusa |
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Registered Member
Posts: 12 (06/16/08 8:43 PM) |
Don't compare your daughter's ability to another young lady her same age OR her sister.
Get the overbearing, talkative parent to organize the team get together. Check your fly before walking into a convention center. Wash your hands after pool play. Always have a backup whistle. Watch and learn from other teams, younger or older.
Here is the simple but powerful rule... always give people more than they expect to get. - Nelson Boswell
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UniversityAthlete |
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Registered Member
Posts: 135 (06/16/08 9:33 PM) |
I have parents at every practice. If they come however, they are expected to shag or feed balls to coaches. They would NEVER consider talking to their
daughters. Maybe it's just the culture we set up. I don't mind it and it's never been a problem. I can see how it could be though.
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pooch.noshortcutsusa |
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Registered Member
Posts: 12 (06/16/08 10:35 PM) |
Here is the simple but powerful rule... always give people more than they expect to get. - Nelson Boswell
Last Edited By: pooch
06/16/08 10:38 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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Phaedrus |
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Registered Member
Posts: 2041 (06/17/08 6:06 AM) |
pooch wrote: Or don't go to an all you can buffet for lunch if you have the PM pool.
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VBREPORTER |
OK... | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 103 (06/17/08 9:35 AM) |
...here goes!
If you have more players on your team than toes on your feet, you have too many players.
Parents that support soccer, dance, cheerleading think volleyball parents are nuts due to cost and travel, and we they…..both are correct.
Don't ask a coach to be harder on your player than you are on her at home.
A player's playing time, skill level and athleticism are probably the first thing in life that mom and dad can't buy or fix for them….and that's very frustrating for the parents.
The coach's daughter will always be held to a higher standard than the other players…the standard will not only be higher but in most cases unattainable.
The best way too keep parents happy is to assign them tasks that keep them busy, engaged and somewhere else.
If you come back from an out of town tournament with even one pair of clean underwear you've over-packed.
Regardless of the distance, make sure your player's shoes and socks are in the car trunk for the ride home and, if possible, have her feet stuck out the window. The vast majority of Open and/or Elite teams are selected long before the club's brochure announcing
tryouts is received in the mail.
Whatever you've left on the coaches' doorstep in regard to your player's work ethic, attitude, and desire is what they have to work with…they aren't going to change over a decade of parenting in one, or even several, volleyball seasons.
Last Edited By: VBREPORTER
06/17/08 9:39 AM.
Edited 3 times.
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rael |
when a mom sez. . . . . | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 234 (06/17/08 11:06 AM) |
. . . . "please don't tell my daughter that I called you with a question/comment/suggestion - but I'd like to know why. . . . . ." as a coach
you should stop the conversation and assure her that her words will be shared with the daughter. Usually the "please don't tell my daughter" is
preceeded with "she really trusts you as a coach and enjoys playing for you."
When you assure mom that her daughters respect and trust has been earned and all question/comment/suggestion have been asked of the daughter/player beforehand, everyone will find it easier to learn more about the game and I as a coach won't have to be party to a "secret conversation" about the daughter/player. |
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groupguy |
The vast majority of open/elite teams are selected before the club brochure is mailed" | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 102 (06/17/08 11:16 AM) |
I don't know about this one. Certainly, by the time players are 17 and 18 the difference between powerful 6' footers and scrappy 5'7" players
is clear, but I've seen players switch teams and good players come from other clubs to get a spot on the top team. There are players who start on the top
team at age 14 and are on the second or third team by age 18, so someone came in.
It does seem that since girls mature earlier the number of "Michael Jordan" types- can't make the Soph. team, end up a D1 recruit- is fewer, but there are girls who still grow between 15 and 16 and get more powerful, coordinated, quicker, etc. after that. Any club coaches/directors care to comment on this? |
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VBREPORTER |
Hmm... | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 103 (06/17/08 11:28 AM) |
groupguy wrote: ...talking on a "seasonal" basis here. True a player on the Open or Elite team does not have a birth-right or pass to that team the following year but each year the Open teams are formed long before tryouts...and like all other posts of the VBReporter, that fact is based on experience in our own club as both a club coach and director, as well as, the knowledge of clubs we are in competion with in the region...know that we're only talking about the Open level teams though...those teams are not thrown together at tryouts. |
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vb15fan |
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Registered Member
Posts: 65 (06/17/08 10:38 PM) |
RIP, you and I will have to agree to disagree on this one. My two daughters have always played for clubs that have parents attend practices. My older
daughter now drives herself so it is a non issue.
As a matter of fact, my daughter's high school encourages parents to sit in on classes whenever they like...something I did when my girls were in elementary school, not anymore now that they are in high school. I would be hesitant to sign my daughters on to play with a club with a closed door policy. My preference and my check book. Fortunately, clubs in my area have a culture that welcomes parents. I have never talked to my daughter in practice, nor do I judge or question every move that is made. Likewise, sitting in on a school class gives me (the parent) a chance to evaluate the way a teacher conducts themselves with the students and their methods of teaching. By the time my daughter is in Physics I don't expect to know more about the subject matter than the teacher. The same applies to volleyball. I don't know anything about volleyball but I know the kind of environment I want my daughter to learn her chosen sport in and the way I want her treated. I don't drop my girls off with people I don't know in a new environment (new club) and simply walk away until I am comfortable with that environment. I has nothing to do with her learning volleyball and everything to do with my wanting her in the right situations. (I have seen abusive coaches at tournaments and I can only imagine what they are like in private practices. I have seen thing I can't believe parents would allow a coach to do or say to their child, much less pay them for the service. That's just my opinion and how I choose to watch out for my child-every parent makes their own choices/decisions.) |
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Tigger1 |
...on inspiration | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 120 (06/18/08 7:47 AM) |
For parents -
Your job as a parent is to find at least one good thing she has done, and comment favourably. It may not have been on the court! Choose coaches that will deal with aspects of play that aren't adequate...that's not a parent's job. More often than not, your kid knows better than you where they messed up, and why. When you're done this journey, and you and she are no longer spending time together, she should remember her parents as her number 1 cheerleaders, not number 1 critics. For players - Find joy in the friendships on your team, but look inwards for motivation. You will not always be able to find motivation from others, and if you rely on it, you will be disappointed. For coaches - Know that most parents are dillusional, but we all want what is best for our kids. The problem is, we have little clue what that really is, and some of us know that, too. The single thing that will bring us back is enthusiasm - for the practices, for the competition, for the party afterwards. If you inspire them, they will learn to be inspired. |
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TheyPlayICheer |
Parent at Practice | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 100 (06/18/08 9:55 AM) |
A big part of this question comes down to "Why did the parent go?"
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clubber |
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Registered Member
Posts: 34 (06/18/08 10:58 AM) |
Players: Play every point like is for a championship and one day it will be.
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vb15fan |
moving on... | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 65 (06/18/08 11:19 AM) |
Well said, TheyplayIcheer, and I didn't mean to highjack this thread on one topic since it started out as sharing wisdom. On that note, I'll share my
last "words of wisdom", on the subject from the great Yogi Berra
"You can observe a lot just by watching." 
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