Coach Karl sends us his second article on his efforts to save the volleyball program at Armstrong HS in MN.
http://www.prepvolleyball.com/content/view/1807/381/
PrepVolleyball.com
0 Kudo
Don't lance Armstrong volleyball!
| Author | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 JTawa |
Don't lance Armstrong volleyball! |
Lead | |
|
Registered Member
Posts: 13820 (06/05/08 11:33 AM) Administrator |
|
||
 mnvbfan |
|||
|
Registered Member
Posts: 301 (06/05/08 4:04 PM) |
Well done Karl. Well worth the read and well worth the time it takes to write out a check and send it your way. I can vouch for the Karma! Works well!!
|
||
|
Karl |
|||
|
Registered Member
Posts: 21 (06/06/08 1:22 AM) |
Thanks for the kind words - and the kids say thanks for the donation!
You experienced some good karma since you mailed it in? Please expound... |
||
|
cleocat011 |
Support the Blood Rivalry! | ||
|
Registered Member
Posts: 11 (06/06/08 3:10 PM) |
Karl,
Enjoyed your second installment. It prompted an idea for your funding needs. Caveat: for those
whose sarcasm detecter is set on low, I'm not serious, but I am a very serious supporter of the Blood Rival Wayzata
Trojans. Here's the idea:
Don't underestimate the power of Economic Disparity with Blood Rival. Use a direct
appeal to the Wayzata VB families. Plan A: Try to get our mailing list. Since we like to keep our info private (to minimize solicitations from the
eight-figure inheritance), you may need to pummel Scott to get it. And since he's nine times bigger than you are, that may not work. Plan B: Apply your broadcasting experience and take a cue from Ron "Ronco" Popiel. Offer a
Win-O-Matic (okay, this doesn't align with the Samurai idea, but you can deal with team issues later). It's a perfect hook. Winning. We like
it. We take pleasure in beating your teams. If they're not around, it could affect our W column. Don't bother with details about the product.
We'll be so giddy with the prospects of winning, we won't read the fine print. And, because we love winning so much, we'll feel good about using
DD's inheritance for a good cause. The pitch:
Wayzata Volleyball parents, do you enjoy your Blood Rivalry with the Falcons of Armstrong?
Do you enjoy the sweet taste of victory time after time? Continue the Blood Rivalry! Act now!!!! Donate part of
DD's eight-figure inheritance for your share in Win-O-Matic!!!!!! It's guaranteed to give the Taj Mahal girls all
the wins and all the vigorous overhead spikes you'll ever need!!!! Keep the dream alive! Limited time
offer!! Wayzata, donate now for your Win-O-Matic!!! Offer
expires June 15!!!!!
Disclaimer. We make every effort to ensure that we accurately represent this product and its potential for victory. Statements made by our company and its representatives do not reflect our Samurai or
what we think you can possibly do, especially if there is a Divine Wind. There is no guarantee that you will
get the majority of the vigorous overhead spikes or win like 90% of the time and you accept the risk that the
performance may differ by individual.
As with any Blood Rivalry, your results may vary, and will be based on your individual capacity, experience, expertise, and level of desire. There are no guarantees concerning the level of success you may experience. There are no guarantees that you will obtain greater success with our product than you have already achieved with Scott as your coach. The examples used are exceptional results, which do not apply to the average volleyball player, and are not intended to represent or guarantee that anyone will achieve the same or similar results. Each individual's success depends on his or her background, dedication, desire and motivation. There is no assurance that examples of past records can be duplicated in the future. We cannot guarantee your future results and/or success. There are some unknown risks in volleyball that we cannot foresee which can reduce results. We cannot guarantee that purchase of this product will prevent a Divine Wind. We are not responsible for your actions. The use of our information, products and services should be based on your own due diligence and you agree that our company is not liable for any success or failure of your team that is directly or indirectly related to the purchase of our product.
Our check's in the mail (really!). As for good karma coming our way...let's
start with September 10. Taj Mahal. Oh, one more thing, you really need to
consider hiring a fact checker for these articles. Mere mints on DD's pillow?? Are you serious? It's Limited Edition Godiva.
Best regards and it's an honor to know we are hated as much as the
Packers. Go Trojans!
|
||
|
Karl |
Thanks again! | ||
|
Registered Member
Posts: 21 (06/06/08 11:56 PM) |
This perhaps could be the funniest thing I have ever read on an internet message board - I crapped when I saw it. Fortunately, I was reading it in the
restroom.
There's comedy, there's high comedy and there's comedy that proves my point that this is a Blood Rivalry. I mean, how long did it take to think this up/write this down? Hahaha - it was well worth the effort because I audibly laughed a minimum of 3 times when I read it. Any time you can successfully reference Ron Popiel on a girls volleyball message board, it should really be applauded. Plan A: Try to get our mailing list. Since we like to keep our info private (to minimize solicitations from the eight-figure inheritance), you may need to pummel Scott to get it. And since he's nine times bigger than you are, that may not work. The best part about this is that Scott is going to think I put you up to writing this. In fact I had a vague idea of this poster's identity - but after rereading - I am like 86.4% sure of who it is now. Any and all references to Scott's umm..."girth" on the internet is always totally appropriate and called for as far as I am concerned. Just know that he tells his toddler daughter that my name is Paul and she is under no circumstances allowed to interact with me. Well done. Plan B: Apply your broadcasting experience and take a cue from Ron "Ronco" Popiel. Offer a Win-O-Matic (okay, this doesn't align with the Samurai idea, but you can deal with team issues later). It's a perfect hook. Winning. We like it. We take pleasure in beating your teams. If they're not around, it could affect our W column. Don't bother with details about the product. The 2nd to last sentence almost caused my friend to come rushing into the bathroom because they thought I was suffering from a mild stroke or something - highest of all comedy. Hidden jabs on an internet message board are an awesome way to get a laugh - especially when it is actually humerous. I am mightly resisting the urge to add a sentence to the end of the above paragraph that says something like: "And really, don't even bother quoting us the price - It's not like there is anything sold on the Armstrong side of Plymouth that we couldn't afford..." Our check's in the mail (really!). As for good karma coming our way...let's start with September 10. Taj Mahal. I really feel that this one should be broadcast nationally. If not for the entertainment value of the match, then for the announcers explaining to the viewers why there are no Wayzata fans seated until midway through the first game. Jose Jones and Jay Wilcox on the Channel 12 call - Jay Wilcox: Welcome back to Wayzata High School - and wow Jose! Here come the first of the Trojan faithful through the door! For a second, it looked like there might be only Armstrong fans in attendance here tonight. Jose Jones: No Jay, it's just that two people called in sick and valet parking is really backed up tonight. I could do this all day if you want - but all kidding aside: Thanks for the kind words and the funny response and most of all, your generous donation! The kids at AHS couldn't be more grateful, especially considering times are tough for everyone it seems and even our most staunch rivals are circling the wagons so to speak in our time of need. We are currently almost 70% of the way to our goal! We do need a couple more generous folks to help us out - hopefully there are some philantrophic readers in cyberspace with a couple of bucks burning a hole in their pocketbook... Thanks again! - Karl PS - Like I said, I am 86.4% sure who this is but if you want to email me your identity - I have a cool prize for you for some awesome reader feedback.
Last Edited By: Karl
06/07/08 12:03 AM.
Edited 2 times.
|
||
|
mntxballa |
|||
|
Registered Member
Posts: 28 (06/09/08 9:04 AM) |
Hilarious - and referencing Jose Jones should be given even more 'props'. I love hearing about the Northwest suburbs rivalry - I thought it was bad
with Eagan & Apple Valley/Eastview....
|
||
|
cleocat011 |
Umm...girth? | ||
|
Registered Member
Posts: 11 (06/09/08 9:29 AM) |
No, no, no, Coach Karl. Think vertically challenged. I must publicly distance myself from your erroneous assumption in the size matchup, lest our far superior Head Coach takes umbrage. As for my identity, here's a hint: Sports Medicine clinic, great nurses. Check your email. |
||
