Still not defending pulling a kid in the middle of a tournament....but this club is at fault big time here...a 12s team with 13 players...totally
outrageous....someone with knowledge of this situation should out this club so others can be aware and not put their children
the same situation.
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Parents and Playing Time
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 VolleyDad9 |
Once again... | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 1453 (05/06/08 5:31 AM) |
Fun? You mean Volleyball is supposed to be fun??
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VbBEAR |
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Registered Member
Posts: 39 (05/06/08 6:01 AM) |
vb0727 wrote: "X" <----the point
 ..How long before you get tired and frustarted and give up?
http://disney.go.com/characters/pooh/html/merry/carrot.html
Last Edited By: VbBEAR
05/06/08 6:20 AM.
Edited 2 times.
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VBEye |
Eye wouldn't like 13 on a roster, but | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 1506 (05/06/08 6:08 AM) |
once we (yes, we) joined the team, it would be a done deal. Teaching a 12 year old that quitting is the best option is just plain old bad. Not bad enough to
call in child protective services, but bad in its own reyeght.
At least three mistakes made here: 1). Joining a team with 13 2). Not understanding the concept of competition 3). Teaching the kid an extremely poor leyefe lesson In addition, it could be argued (supposition) that the parent was fearing for their child's self esteem. As if lil' Susie just couldn't see herself in a positive leyeght unless she was on the court. Belief meyene, lil' Susie could probably care less, but in actuality it is the parent(s) with the hard teyeme not seeing lil' Susie on the court. |
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VbBEAR |
WOW... | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 39 (05/06/08 6:18 AM) |
VBEye wrote: ...just WOW EYE, how you're able to assess every situation, even getting into the heads and thoughts of people you've never met. In fact, you have no idea what lil Susie was thinking or feeling. This may have been a great lesson taught by her parents in pulling her out of the match. What if her immediate thoughts were "You know, I didn't like that leaving my teammates. That didn't feel good and I'll never do it again?" OH OH...another perspective... |
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vball1311 |
slight different version | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 81 (05/06/08 9:46 AM) |
When i was an athlete, my coach, also my father, never said there are other better than me.. He said
there is always someone somewhere working harding than me..(the old planet Reebok ad). This drove me to always push and never let up. and strive to get better,
never shut down. and I didn't get too frustrated and quit.. Quite the opposite happen, I got more determined, I didn't let anything stand in my way.
Setting goals, expectations, achieving and failing are all okay.. failure makes achieving that much better. Our society is so quick to coddle, protect, and
deflect it is making our athletes more vulnerable at the upper levels. imho.. but what do i know.. i'm just a parent of a player and coach of a team...
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VBEye |
Bear w/me - suppositions all meyene | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 1506 (05/06/08 2:06 PM) |
Yeah, Eye must be wrong. With so many people out there willing to speak of the great leyefe lessons taught beye quitting. Eye say, keep on teaching them.
Quit, quit, quit and quit some more. Wreyete a book and teyetle it: "Quitting is for winners"
Chapter one - Don't worry about getting started Chapter two - No need for a goal Chapter three - No need to finish Chapter four - How to quit during an event Chapter feyeve - How to quit in between events and not have to tell anybody Chapter six - Eye quit Chapter seven - There's more, but no need to complete it BTW, meye references are to the handful of people who have played with meye daughters and at meye club and how they did what they did. Maybe coming from a different area wHere quitting is so much more practical and better rec'd, you know different.
Last Edited By: VBEye
05/06/08 2:42 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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live4vb |
12U | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 635 (05/06/08 3:06 PM) |
....we are talking about
. a 12U team . who play with a Volley Lite . possibly 5th, 6th and maybe 7th graders . possibly first time experience with USAV/AAU . 13 girls' on a roster At this age shouldn't the focus be on developing a love of the game and learning the fundamentals. What are the chances of those who left the tournament will return to the sport? Clearly this was a bad call from the director, club coach and parents. Now we are faced with a situation that they not only left (quit) the team, they will possibly leave (quit) the sport. We shouldn't look at this as right or wrong...it is what it is. Let's find solutions that will prevent this from happening again. How many athletes on a roster at the 13U, 12U programs. I have begun at this age since 14's begin playing in the Open division. What can we do to prevent athletes leaving during season?
Last Edited By: live4vb
05/06/08 3:09 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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flyonthewall |
what to do? | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 348 (05/06/08 4:52 PM) |
Live4vb.....here is what I discovered (we started at 14's with my kid)....parents don't really (I mean really) understand what club ball is like unless
they have had one kid go thru it before. I have had lots of parents talk to me about their kid playing club ball and I always try to stress the realily of all
day tournaments, crappy driving weather, practices, good carpooling and bad carpooling, multi-day tourneys over long weekends, times their kid plays well,
times their kid can't seem to even hit the ball all day, how long the season seems to go, etc...if the parents are fully informed (and honestly I think it
needs to come from other parents, not coaches) things may go more smoothly. I think parents who have some misconception of how easy this will be to get their
kid a scholarship, the extra costs associated with food/gas/hotels, the effect of lost weekend days on the rest of their family life, etc can come away from
the sport very disenchanted. I just don't think all parents (and maybe some kids) understand this is a very long committment. And add to that the stress
of dealing with some of their teammates' parents---yikes!
As far as 13 on a roster,could it depend if all the players are just playing volleyball? Maybe (notice I said maybe---because I don't know this team) several players are playing club soccer or basketball, too? If you were a coach and knew players you wanted were multi-sport players would you still only put 10 on your team? I don't know, I just wonder if some of these 12 year olds aren't sure what sport they really want to play. |
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VBEye |
It's never too soon | ||
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Registered Member
Posts: 1506 (05/06/08 6:13 PM) |
Go ahead and teach them to quit.
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TxClubMom |
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Registered Member
Posts: 87 (05/06/08 7:29 PM) |
I am somewhat old school. I believe in responsibility, accountability and commitment - as all parents do. I don't believe in bailing out your kid when they
forget their homework, lunch, water bottle, coat, when they don't make cheerleader, or when the teacher decides they deserve detention.
So when it comes to signing up for things (piano, band, dance, science camp, club teams, rec teams, etc.) I expect my daughter to fulfill her commitment. No quitting in the middle out of boredom, frustration, because she doesn't 'like' it, or because she is not the best on the team and embarrassed. BUT - she has never been in an abusive situation. We have been on TWO teams in 5 years where someone was dragged off the court by a parent during a tournament. Once at AAUs two weeks before JOs, and once on a 12s team in a local tourney. It was dramatic both times, but it didn't distract the team to the point of implosion. The girls talked about it for a week and moved on. After all, they live for drama. Year(s) later both the players in question still seem to be well adjusted, no discipline problems, passing school with honors. The AAU player is still swinging away as a top hitter on a JO qualified team, different club. The 12 yo also changed clubs, stayed in vb. 7th through 9th grade, and now is a superstar in theatre and choir - both demanding. She hasn't quit either. Personally, I think I would have made a different decision in both instances - but I was not the parent. I was not in their shoes and did not have to make the decision for their daughter. In both cases, I think the parents made the decision they thought was best ... and it was not totally done out of anger. There isn't a 'one size fits all' answer here. For example - both true stories. A HS girl comes to the club try-outs. She currently plays on the JV team at school, but has never tried out for club before. She is an outstanding athlete. She is over 6' tall. Basketball is her primary sport. She has one D1 school VERY interested in her for basketball. When she and her mom walked in the door at try-outs they talked with the director and request to be considered for a 'limited travel team'. They explained that basketball was her primary sport and she would miss some tournaments and some practices to support that sport. The Director said their club could work with that - but she REALLY needs to be on the travel team. After some amount of convincing, the mom and daughter agree and try-out for a travel team. Months later, after missing vb practices and some local tournaments the coach is fed up when the tall outstanding athlete when she has to miss again. The coach gives her an ultimatum - "You are either serious about volleyball or you're not. I am tired of your non-commitment. Pick your sport, basketball or volleyball." She chose basketball and quit. IMHO - she did the right thing for her future. Same club, same year, same age group, different team. Another tall girl walks in with her mom. She is also JV (different school) and has never played club. Basketball is her main sport. Again, the daughter and mom decided before try-outs they want a limited travel team. Mom knows her daughter isn't 'that good'. She can't afford the travel teams and they don't want the time commitment. They think they will be happy with the level of training and play time they will get on a lower team. Again - the director says she really belongs on a travel team. Better coaching, better tournaments, better training. They can work with her basketball schedule. So they do as advised. After all, this is their first club volleyball rodeo. The season progress's - and she never hits the court. Although you can't 'teach tall', apparently the other players were stronger, as she knew they would be. The girl makes it through the regular season on the bench. Her team also qualifies. She quit after the regular season, before JO's. Mom and daughter are very discouraged with how the year went, wishes she had played on a limited travel team instead of practicing on a travel team. And really, they can't afford another month of practice and two more tournaments. The daughter and mom made the right decision for them to leave after the regular season. It does not impact the team. I do not see this girl as a 'threat' for future teams and quiting. I do think they will be smarter about what team they play for next year. |
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