gotsandvb wrote:

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I see this at most tournaments. Player crying on the sideline, obviously from getting pull from the game or not getting playing time. Luckily it hasn't happen to me as a club coach yet, but would like to prepare myself just in case.

...maybe her boyfriend broke up with her...made her choose between volleyball and him?...you just never know the real reason behind the tears.

I emphatize with the player in tears. Really life is not always fair to the individual. How a coach treats a player in tears really depends on the professional relationship between coach and player. Their personal relationship is not a topic of discussion. At times communication isn't always the fix, but it's listening skills. You know the saying, "In one ear out the other." Sometimes players do that to coaches, sometimes it's the other way around.

tresmariasvb wrote:

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At times communication isn't always the fix, but it's listening skills. You know the saying, "In one ear out the other." Sometimes players do that to coaches, sometimes it's the other way around.

It may interest you to know the definition of "communication". The dictionary says, "a process by which we assign and convey meaning in an attempt to create shared understanding. This process requires a vast repertoire of skills in intrapersonal and interpersonal processing, listening, observing, speaking, questioning, analyzing, and evaluating." Obviously, listening is a key part of communicating...you can't have one without the other.

I agree that listening is a key part of communication, but that's not the obvious part of the nature of it. Not sure why the definition of "communication" to envelop listening can put across the suggestion that listening skills is in the same notion. Perhaps it better to say that "communication skills" serves a better method to address someone who at times may be hard of hearing or may have ADD. It's like when you listen to a song and you like how it rhymes and the beat of the music ensemble is just so blissful you fail to grasp the lyrics and the thought process of the artist whose emotional state served as the inspiration to materialize it. Without the listenins skills and being receptive to the message being conveyed, one's understanding can lead to an inaccurate conclusion. (Goes back to player being subbed out, now crying on bench and concluding that being subbed led to crying). How salespeople do their best work, by being selective about certain key words and making emphasis on it through crafty inflections in their voice. It serves the purpose to get us to listen and conclude on that key idea. That influential difference between effective and ineffective method is skills. (def: the ability, coming from one's knowledge, practice, aptitude, etc., to do something well.) So when choosing to communicate, that trying to find the reason(s) for being subbed, please use some tact. Last thing you want is to get coach all defensive about their actions. To players: don't always assume that's it's your mistake and your fault. To parents: don't always assume that your kid is getting the lemon.

anyway,
Crying is touchy issue as well as getting mad and losing self control. One obscure method is to laugh it off. Laughter is contagious. Who knows, it may serve to commence the process at retrieving the proper composer of being a 'winner' in the face of a lost situation.

further note:
some opinions are extreme, but perhaps it's just a passion for volleyball...and I keep telling myself, "I'm a good listener." (cuz I know my communication method needs work).